I checked the IM listed, and oddly, badblood was online and not idle. I posed this question to him, knowing that he'd give me a straight answer and not the "GO! GO!" answer most of my lovable-enabler-friends would give me. After explaining my situation, he said that I should go and play - that the times when he is not excited to be playing is exactly the time that he plays his best and tends to win big, because of the lack of emotional investment.
I hemmed and hawed and continued to give reasons why I didn't want to go, to which he responded, "There are times when you cross the line from don't want to play to shouldn't go play - maybe that's where you're at." He could be right.
Then I remembered some advice I'd gotten from G-Rob (yes, you heard that right), that he plays games with people who are worse players than him. Which crystalized my feelings in my head: I had absolutely no desire to go play The Big Game, and that was absolutely ok. When I thought about going to play the baby game ($200max NL), I found a desire to go to the boats, and told the blood this. Hooray.
And then my afternoon meetings were cancelled. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is, so I packed up and headed to the boats early, and hit surprisingly little traffic.
And wouldn't you know it? Both the G-Vegas guys were right- I played fantastic, and was making moves when I should be and I was running over the table and letting all the chips come to me like I was the black hole of poker. I watched the big game go with a really tough lineup and said "Screw that, I'm making money here and it's so much easier than sitting there!"
In fact, when my KK ran into a flopped set of jacks, the player against me gave me one of the highest compliments I've gotten so far (although nothing can compare to otis telling me I intimidate him at the table), telling me that they were talking about me while I was away from the table and I was "probably the best post-flop player at this table."
Boy, did that (and my considerable profit) help restore my confidence, I'll tell you what.
Omatard challenge total: 832 hands, +6.76
update: 950 hands, -7.24; i suck.