Sound Byte (maigrey) wrote,
Sound Byte
maigrey

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On Religion, Generation X and being in the minority

[This is something I've been wanting to write for a while, but haven't had the time to really sit and put thoughts into words.]

I think in this day and age of recognizing every minority there could be on this green earth, we're missing one: those of my generation who are single and go to church. This goes against the social norm of being anti-christian. Being spiritual is accepted; wiccans, pagans, athiests, agnostics, and even judism is much more accepted than someone 25-32 who is single and actually decides to attend church of their own free will. And lets not even talk about should we decide to do more than just go to church on Sundays.

Before I go further, let me explain that while I'm religious, I have no urge to push my religion on to anyone. I adore my friends who are wiccan, pagans, athiests, agnostics, and jewish, and I have no urge to convert them to Christianity. That's just not who I am. Unless you're Roman Catholic, and then, as an Episcopalian, I have a duty to poke fun at that whole transubstantiation thing; but that's just in jest. But, still, my faith (and to a point, my religion) is an important part of my life, and part of who I am.

But, because I'm in this minority, I have gotten to the point where I'm uncomfortable talking about the things I'm doing in relationship to my faith with my friends. I get odd looks, the "You go to church?" questions, or even a bit of scoffing. More often than not, I'd rather make up a white lie about what I'm doing, instead of telling the truth. I rarely do, because I'm always reminded of Peter and the cock crowing, but it's not an easy thing for me to do.

This all got brought to a head for me when I decided to take a class/group offered by my church called "Education for Ministry" (EFM). This is not an education for ministry int the preast/deacon sense, but more so in the sense of being a better person, realizing where you are meant to make a difference, etc. Unfortunately, the class meets on Thursdays, which is our usual board gaming night. This meant I had to explain to many of my friends that I could no longer attend game night; I told them that I had a class, and didn't elaborate more than that. Of course, people later were curious about what class I was taking, and it's at that point where I said it was a bible study type class at church (which it is, I hadn't gone to the first class which gave me a bit more explanation on it).

But I felt sheepish, and afraid of how people would react. And I started thinking about this week, and realize that are a lot of experiences and details about my faith and thoughts in that direction that I'm hesitant to write in my journal, much less bring up as a subject of conversation with my friends. But, I found that I didn't want to have to put in cut tags to warn people away about rants about my feelings on my faith either, because that didn't feel right either. On the other hand, I really don't want to come off as preachy, or witness-y, or conversionalist, because that's not who I am, either.

And then, finally, I came to a decision: this is me. My faith, my EFM studies, my weekend works, those are all things that make things me, and you can take me or leave me, but you have to take or leave the whole me. Is it really that much different to my listening to my friends babble about computer games, programming geeky things, etc; things that are important to them, but not on my radar screen? So, I'm going to be posting those things I've held back on previously, and as usual, it's your choice to read them or not, or to keep me as a friend, or not, but I need to do this for me. I need to be more comfortable in my own faith, because it doesn't quite fit at this point. I've got the little black faith dress, but it's the wrong size; I still need to grow into it a bit more.
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