Sound Byte (maigrey) wrote,
Sound Byte

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On movies...

My mom and I decided to go do a movie marathon yesterday. it was fun and all mom-kid-bondie; I even found out that my unwanted tendency to chew loudly is definitely an inherited thing. The short breakdown of the movies:

Episode II: Enh. Sorry, I can't go along with the general public on the rocking-ness of this movie: more on this later.
Spiderman: Good! Unlike in the trailers, the red red red hair on Kirsten actually works. Also noted: Tobey has really huge eyes.
About a Boy: The best of the lot! Perhaps it works because Hugh plays a character seemingly much like himself? Also noted: Hugh is definitely starting to show his age.

Let's break it down:
Amidala: Absolutely loved the costumes, especially the diaphanous gown without the back. Smashing, truly. But, y'know, hi? Anakin tells you he massacres an entire village, including the women and children, and you do nothing but pat his back and this does nothing for your love for him? I mean, really. And I know that you need to get knocked up to have Luke and Leia, but I wouldn't have thought marriage would have been in the plans here. Loved how Natalie played you though, despite what she had to work with from the writer.

Anakin: Kinda wanted to smack you around as often as Ewan -- er, Obi Wan did -- with all your whining. At least you do have chemistry with Amidala, even if you do keep calling her Padme; I guess you didn't get the memo that Padme was her fake name! But, dialogue aside, Hayden was a decent actor, and not just because he was Cutie McPatootie.

Ewan, er, I mean Obi wan: You looked so much cuter in Episode I, dude. At least shave that stuff off your cheek where the beard doesn't come in so well, eh?

Yoda: Loved the swordfight scene. Probably the best scene in the movie! Amazing how you've improved with age (and computer technology), ain't it?

Samuel L. Jackson: Loved you too -- but you so need more "The party's over." lines in Episode III. And I'm sorry, Sam, but 'Darth Windu' sounds so much better than "Master Jedi Windu"; I bet you'd get better lines if you turned to the dark side.

Count Duku: Dude, you are so typecast in bad guy roles now, aren'tcha? Good thing you're a natural for it, but still, you might want to give your agent a call.

and last but not least:
George: Put the pen down. Now. I mean it. Do not think of writing any more dialogue for your movies. Just like Quentin Tarantino should not act in his films, you should stick to the broader concepts of the story and let someone with writing talent do the work. I mean, really, you could not have been more ham-handed about foreshadowing Anakin's turn to the dark side unless you prefaced each scene with a flashing neon sign that said "Warning: Dark Side foreshadowing ahead!". And so much chemistry and wonderful acting on the parts of your main characters was totally ruined by horrible stilted dialogue that belonged in a 7th grade play. Or Shakespeare. I'm not quite sure which one.
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