There are no words to describe how very much I hate you. Is it that inconceivable that, oh, lets say, when I ask on Friday for my package to be held that you do not send it out on the truck on Monday to be delivered? Of course not.
Plotting a way to make everyone use USPS or FedEx,
You are just doing this out of spite now, aren't you? I know you got my several memos regarding the change of seasons to spring, and how could you possibly miss day glow writing I put on your personal calendar? Perhaps I need to get you a daily organizer, and we can get this whole season thing straightened out.
Do you know that it's almost April? No, really!
cc: Bitingly Cold Wind
I thought the deal was that if I brought you into my kind loving home and gave you a purpose in life, that you would be so kind as to put yourself together without any help from me. I guess you just aren't grateful enough to have left the shelves of Ikea.
It's been far too long! Why don't we go out for drinks and dinner tonight and catch up. Or perhaps just go casual and watch some TV? I've bought you a present, but I require an extra body to help me bring it up there, and you're just not mobile enough.